photo by Thia Penta

One just doesn’t slap on a pair of skates and suddenly become a Windy City Roller. There’s a grueling tryout process and, if you’re smart, a grueling training program to get you ready for that tryout.

I joined the WCR recruit board in September and received a lot of helpful advice that can be simplified to these three tenants – work out, skate, and do it all FREQUENTLY. But what exactly does that mean? Where do you even begin?

I pretty much started from square one. I had been in school for five years in a very challenging nursing program. Working out had, unfortunately, become a very low priority. I dusted off my gym shoes and gym membership and started doing 30 minutes of cardio and light weight lifting about 3 times a week, gradually increasing the time and intensity. Nothing was super planned or thought out, except my desire to get better and better.

After a few weeks of re-establishing my overall fitness, I decided to give the old eight wheels a whirl. Doing some skating if you want to do roller derby seems obvious enough, right? Unfortunately, living in the city and being carless is not the best formula, as the rinks are located in the suburbs. In my derby preparation, I learned to read a Metra schedule AND how to set up an effective car pool!

I started off gradually with the rolling, going to open skates and open derby practices held at the Orbit in Palatine, where I also purchased my first pair of skates and basic gear. As my confidence grew, I decided to try one of the speed skating classes I had heard so much about on the recruit board.

The first time I did a speed class it was intimidating, to say the least. I woke up disgustingly early on a Saturday to head out to Summit to go to Fleetwood’s speed practice at 7am. I arrived embarrassingly early. Not really sure what to do, I threw on my gear and started doing some laps, very aware of my shoddy form and serious lack of speed as pint sized 8 year olds and muscular men in spandex whizzed by me. What had I gotten myself into?

What happens in a speed skating class varies, depending on who leads it and who’s there, but usually consists of pace lines, relays, ridiculous amounts of laps, working on starts, and breaking down form. To this day, I still get a little nervous about going to speed. They guarantee to be one hell of a workout, and can sometimes leave you a bit deflated when you feel like the pokiest of the bunch. However, the results are fantastic. Going to speed has improved my skating ability and cardiovascular fitness tenfold. (And sometimes you DO beat the 8 year olds!)

Other things I did to prepare included attending area-specific classes at my gym (abs, legs), going to the recruit clinics offered through WCR, working on skating skills at open skates (stopping, turning, passing people, etc.), and getting to know WCR people. As the tryout day approached, I was skating and working out about 5 days a week.

I won’t go too in depth about the tryout as a. it seems to change slightly each time, so specifics aren’t super critical and b. an air of mystery is SEXY, of course. The tryout consisted of about an hour of off skate work to assess physical fitness, an hour of on skates to assess skating abilities, and a 10 minute interview with WCR leadership. It was hardcore. Even with the months of preparation I had put forth, I was completely drained, body and mind, after the tryout. Not only was it incredibly physically challenging, but very stressful, wondering if you had done enough to make the cut. When I got the email that I made it, it made all of those early mornings and late nights seem so worth it.

Of course, all of this was only the beginning.  Next blog, next challenge – getting cleared for practices!

photo by Thia Penta

My name is Loraza Bam and I am a Haymarket Rioter on the Windy City Rollers. I’m writing this blog to give others an idea of what it’s like to be a Haymarket Rioter – how hard we work, the challenges we overcome, and how totally kick ass it all is! You may not see us on the track on bout day, but we are busting our butts to make that a reality one day.

And now, a  little intro into how I got into this crazy beautiful roller derby world!

I first heard about the Windy City Rollers a few summers ago. Fliers and stickers in my neighborhood made me curious, several visits to the website made me excited, and my first bout experience at Cicero had me sold. I remember sitting in that packed stadium not totally sure what was happening, but knowing I definitely wanted to be a part of whatever was going on down there.

I kept my decision to tryout mostly private, as I tend to do when I pursue something I really want. My skating background was minimal. I enjoyed roller skating parties at the Orbit as a kid, I rollerbladed around the block to The Downward Spiral as an angsty teenager, that sort of thing. I never considered myself super athletic – I did cross country, fencing, and badminton in high school – but now, the most exercise I got was when my perpetually late ass had to make a mad dash for a bus.

When I heard about the November 2009 tryout in late August, something in me got really, really motivated. I started getting serious about going to the gym. I trekked back to the Orbit and purchased skates and gear. I went to speed skating classes. Arguably most importantly, I began to get to know the people of the WCR. They provided me with oodles of excellent skating tips, workout advice, and general gems of derby wisdom. I was pleasantly surprised how helpful and downright welcoming these people were. In addition to meeting people already on WCR, I met other recruits in the same eight-wheeled boat as myself. Instead of seeing each other as competition, we were more like companions, helping each other achieve the same rocking goal.

And clearly, as I write this now in an apartment filled with skate tools, knee gaskets, wheels wheels wheels, and t-shirts with my name on them in glittery letters, I have achieved that goal. But what was it like? Well my friends, you’ll just have to be patient and wait until my next blog where I talk about the tortuous trials of tryouts. Alliteration!

<3Bam

Moderated by Tori Adore and Rose Feratu, teams were drafted via conference call. In a new twist this season, the draft pool included All Star-only skaters making their home debut and a handful of Haymarket Rioters making their career debut along with skaters from the third- and fourth-place home teams. "Joe picked first and we just went from there, picking all of our skaters until the pool of skaters was empty," says Rainbowensteinowitz.

Without further ado, your black and white teams for the 2010 Black & White Scrimmage are:

Says Joe, "I definitely wanted Varla, Beth, Hoosier and Athena DeCrime. However, Meg got Athena DeCrime first."

"While I was extremely excited to get Ying, Shocka and several other All Stars early in the draft, my main goal was to draft all of the available Haymarket Rioters," says Rainbowensteinowitz, better known in derby circles as Meg Gyver. "I had the privilege of skating with them for a while, and I wanted to be with them when they skated their first bout at UIC. So, I'm extremely glad I picked up Loraza Bam, Bellatrix Lapain and Lynn E.R. Agression. I was so sad that I didn't get Tara Bonaparte and actually attempted to trade for her, though I was unsuccessful. Also, this team would have had an even more n00b air to it if Dame Over and Lola Getz weren't unavailable for this event, as I would have loved to have grabbed them up as well."

The captains have just three practices to ready their teams for scrimmage. As usual, the biggest challenge will be getting skaters who have not played together to work effectively as a team.

And on bout day, the guest captains will get to see how the game is played from the eye of the hurricane. As Joe says, "The best way to learn about roller derby is definitely to participate in it." He again plans to take on bench coaching duties with the assistance of Amy Nonamey. Rainbowensteinowitz will be assisted on the bench by Angel Dustt.

The guest caption auction netted over $750 to help Tequila Mockingbird, and skaters will be sporting black and white Tequila t-shirts in the scrimmage. For more information about how you can help Tequila's recovery, please visit www.helptequila.com.

The Dark Side, photo by Brad Habit

Only three days left for your bid to guest captain your very own white or black Windy City Rollers team! Hopefuls for the coveted positions will battle it out, ebay style, all this weekend. But by close of business Monday, only two will be left standing to face each other in two weeks, derby style, at the Ivy King Cup Championships on June 5.

Last year, Joe Klug's ("Contusions O'Grandeur") White Zombies defeated Chuck King's ("Chuck Yeah!!!") The Dark Side, 72-30. "First, we picked teams downtown at some Thai restaurant with Tori Adore. I also attended two practices which was most fun," says O’Grandeur. Assisted by Kami Sutra on game day, he got to try his hand at bench coaching — the mostly unsung but uberchallenging position of calling lineups for each jam, managing player rotation, and paying attention to who's in the penalty box— and generally got to experience the difference between watching and playing derby. "It was fun, but I did not get to see much of the team in action. I was too busy bench coaching." True that!

"Initially, I did not know what to expect," he says. "The whole deal was fun, and it was nice to get to know some of the women. Everyone was very helpful from start to finish. Sometimes, it felt like I was trying to herd cats. It was great to see derby from the inside out."

White Zombies

Chuck Yeah says, "It wasn't quite what I expected, because I expected us to win! But it was certainly a lot of fun. The main thing that made me nervous was, I didn't want to disappoint the team, but they all knew what they were doing when it came to playing derby, so I concerned myself with mainly trying to fire up the crowd and maintain enthusiasm."

O’Grandeur literally crossed paths with the Windy City Rollers at the American Cancer Society’s Walk and Roll in 2005. "I got off to a late start and I saw a whole bunch of women on quads, dressed in black, and some in fishnets skating back to the park. I wondered who they were? When I got back to the park, I inquired. Some skinny girl with green wheels and purple sun glasses told me they are WCR and to come out and see them; I have been going ever since."

Chuck Yeah has been a derby fan for about two years. He came to his first few bouts to cheer for his bandmate, The Fury's Mel Content, and has since become a fan of the entire sport. Last year he travelled to the regional championships at The Brawl Of America, which opened his eyes to derby on the national level. "So now I sort of follow what's going on elsewhere, too. I can't wait to see how the All-Stars do this year against Gotham and Philly at ECE!"

And he has a special stake in this year's championship match: "I wore my Fury shirt to all those bouts last year when they went 1-5, so this year, with them playing for the championship, has been very gratifying!"

And O’Grandeur says, “It was good to raise money for Tequila Mockingbird. I would definitely do it again." All proceeds from the guest captain auctions will be donated to Tequila Mockingbird, who seriously injured her spinal cord during a bout in August 2007.

For more information on how you can support Tequila in her incredible recovery, please visit www.helptequila.com.

How did you find out about roller derby in general, and WCR specifically?

I grew up in New York, and when I was about 17 I went to Coney Island and saw some of the Gotham Girls doing a skating demo on the boardwalk. I was just there to ride the Cyclone and eat a hot dog, but I was totally amazed and swept up in how fast those girls could skate and how perfectly they rocked that boardwalk. Coney Island is this great crazy relic, where things like freak shows and carnival hawkers remain and are revitalized as these wonderful things that had, elsewhere, been on the brink of extinction. The derby girls were representing this sport that I'd thought was, like Coney Island, extinct except in this liminal space! I was totally hooked from the start, and kept up with the local New York teams until I went to art school here in Chicago. But I didn't know my way around the city, and didn't make it out of a few miles radius from the Art Institute for a while. So it wasn't until I'd been here a few years that I caught on to the WCR and got all swept up in how wonderful it is. I realized that my high-school aged passion for derby as a sort of idealized esthetic had transformed into an actual understanding of the sport and passion for the skill and talent of the players. I think it's pretty easy to get that way about the WCRs.

What made you want to dedicate a comic to WCR?

Actually, I touch on my derby love in earlier comics. One in particular, in a comics endurance exercise known as an hourly comic (where two panels are drawn each hour of the day), I depicted myself wearing my Manic Attackers T-shirt throughout the day. I was completely bowled over and starstruck when a few of the players commented on the comic and encouraged me to say hi to them after the next bout. I'd always been too shy to do so, but with their kind invitation I felt like I had to muster the gumption, and thus my comic about meeting Ruth Enasia, and how cool that was for me. It also came at a time during my convention season, when I travel around selling my work at comic arts festivals, and meeting my readers. I'm always so flattered and surprised when people are excited and flustered meeting me, so I wanted to do a comic about that feeling, and how I completely relate – how anyone can relate to that giddy feeling of being a fan.

Your comic was such a great summing up of what it’s like to be a fan of anything. What’s it like when people come up to you with the same tongue-tied enthusiasm as when you approached Ruth Enasia?

I'm really touched when readers get all tongue-tied and goofy when they meet me, because I know how that feels! I think it's wonderful when that kind of connection of awe and inspiration can form between strangers – so much great positive energy for people you don't even know in person. I've had experiences where people were so nervous to meet me, having such a strong connection to my life as I depict it in my comics, that they have a lot of trouble overcoming their shyness. I wanted to make my derby-meeting comic to make sure that people are reminded that everyone is a nerdy fangirl or fanboy about something/someone or another!

What do you think is the best way to convert non-derby fans to fans?

Ha, ha, I wish I knew! I'm terrible at doing this. I think because when I bring uninitiated friends to bouts, I'm either paying too much attention to the rink, or lecturing them on the rules and how the game is played, or slobbering over how great certain players are. I think it's overwhelming for them. I think everyone has to come to it on their own, without being dragged or coerced.

Your site says you’re working on a second graphic novel. What’s the subject matter and do you have a publishing date yet?

It's a full-color book about food, and growing up under the wing of my mother, who is a professional chef. It's sort of a girl-power, mom-daughter collection of stories about the connection between memory and food, and a few of my favorite things I've learned from my mom about cooking and eating. It'll come out under First Second Publishing, probably sometime in 2012. I'd love to do a long derby comic someday, but I've gotta finish this book first!

The winning caption:

"When is it time to get funky...Anytime!"

photo by Jamie DiVecchio Ramsay

photo by Gil Leora

Up for auction on ebay is the opportunity to be a guest captain with the Windy City Rollers! As an honorary guest captain you get to draft your own team out of players from the WCR, develop strategy with them at special practices and implement that strategy in a once-in-a-lifetime bout at the WCR's 2010 Championship Game (Saturday, June 5). If you have been dying to use the perfect derby name, have been sitting on the perfect team theme, or just think your derby knowledge is bound to get you a win, this is your chance to put all your knowledge to work! And as if that wasn't enough, guest captains will receive 10 free tickets to distribute to their friends and family in order to watch you work your magic. You will also be dazzled by some customized memorabilia so you can prove to all your friends that you really got to hang out on the track with the ladies of the WCR!

This year, all proceeds from the auction will be donated to Tequila Mockingbird. Tequila, a veteran Chicago roller derby player for The Fury, fell and seriously injured her spinal cord during a bout in August 2007. She has regained some movement in all of her limbs and due to sheer perseverance and hard work. She is positive about the direction of her recovery and thanks all who have helped her along the way. There is still work to be done and she still needs our help. For more information on Tequila and her injury, visit www.helptequila.com

You can bid to be Guest Captain for the white team or the black team.

Somehow you still aren't convinced to bid? Well why don't you take a look at what past participants had to say about their experiences!

"To be out in the middle of the floor during a bout is like being in the pits at Indy--watching from the inside out. It's all right there, all around you. You see everything, hear everything and, well, ok, you smell everything too. But, you know, hey, that's part of it, right? I stood next to Gun Show Poe and lived to tell about it. I talked strategy with Anne Putation, who pretended along with me that I knew what I was doing. And damnit, I got Malice a win!!! And to my opponent, Rogue Wave, who smacked it up all week before the bout, I will forever be able to say, 'I'm sorry for your loss.'"

- Peter Vandenberg, a.k.a. Mike Ondolences

"Being an honorary captain of Windy City Rollers changed my life. All of those other goals, climbing Mount Everest, sailing solo around the world, running an Ironman, now pale in comparison. The team really made me feel welcomed and I was included in everything they did. It may be the only time in my life that I get away with telling these ladies what to do! I recommend this highly and as far as a Chicago Experience, ranks right up there with throwing the dye in the Chicago River for St. Patrick's Day or shagging fly balls at Wrigley."

- Rogue Wave "A Perfect Storm of Pain"

So show us what you've got, help Tequila, and don't miss your chance for the distinguished title of WCR Captain!

photo by Jamie DiVecchio Ramsay

Write a caption for this photo of Shocka Conduit and Ivy Sedation, taken by Jamie DiVecchio Ramsay at the most recent WCR bout. The winner will be selected based on creativity, humor, and fit with the image. Captions that are vulgar or offensive will not be considered. Most importantly, have fun!

To enter: Email your name, phone number, email address, and submission to: contest@windycityrollers.com. Please put 'Caption Contest' in the subject title. We will accept submissions through Friday, May 14th at noon, and then a winner will be selected and notified. The winning caption will be posted on the Windy City Rollers website.

The winning caption:

"Suddenly, the girls decided to take their competition to a new level: Break Dancing Contest!"

photo by Gil Leora

If you think you've got what it takes to topple our skaters, come by at 7pm to sign up; $5 cover starts at 8pm. The winner takes home $100! Sweet! Plus you get to schmooze with the lovely ladies of WCR and enjoy the musical stylings of Muddy Udders and Born to Love Volcanoes, a Dead Milkmen tribute band.

Sorry, young'uns, this event is 21+.

Reggie's is located at 2105 S. State St, Chicago.