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Fashion people are notoriously crazy, their children even more so.

So it's a shock to no one that Josephine (Josie) von Stilvollehosenburg, daughter of the New York socialite-designer Lulu de la Bourgeois-von Stilvollehosenburg and her socialite-financier husband Karl, grew up to be a little off and have a fleeting, if any, grasp of reality. Lulu thought it was positively charming to nurse Josie with a champagne-filled baby bottle. It was adorable the way she used mommy's jewelry to dress up her dolls or as game pieces in Candyland. Lulu positively glowed when she told people that her daughter's first word was "Chanel" (probably closer to "sha-neh"), which if you knew Lulu, was quite believable.

As she got older, the entitlement ran deeper as she became more entrenched in her mother's life of frivolity and fashion. It was always more more more, and Lulu kept indulging every one of her little girl's whims. Unfortunately, by the time Lulu and Karl realized that they, in fact, had created a monster, the damage was done.

After getting a positively obscene American Express bill, Karl had enough and cut off Josie. She was studying in Paris at the time. It was the flagship Chanel store where Josie was, for the first time ever, denied. The cards didn't work. Pity the poor salesgirl who had to tell her no.

"What do you mean my cards aren't working? I need those adorable rollerskates from the resort collection... What you mean I've lost my spot on the waiting list??? I KNOW ONLY 25 PAIRS WERE MADE. And I know that this is the only pair in my size in Europe! I need them. No, you don't understand, I want them and I need them and I'm going to have them."

Her eyes flickered with the insanity of a women possessed. She was going to get what she wanted. She always did.

The next day's Le Monde ran the headline: "Mlle LOCO CHANEL: La fille et le massacre de haute couture" and told the story of the bloodbath at 31 Rue Cambon. 19 bodies were found throughout the store and shoe department was wiped out. The police had no leads, save a tall schoolgirl with blonde hair seen flying down Rue St. Honore in those adorable limited edition Chanel rollerskates. The lone survivor had such horrific trauma and injuries that all she did was repeat the phrase, "la fille et le massacre... le massacre et les patins… " No one was arrested.

Josie clipped the article and pasted it into her scrapbook. She rather fancied this nom de guerre.

When she returned back to the States at the end of the semester, Lulu and Karl knew something was amiss. They sent Josie (who, much to their dismay, was now calling herself 'Loco Chanel') off to school in Chicago, hoping that solid Midwestern values might help. At the very least it couldn't hurt to get away from New York. Unfortunately they picked the wrong school.

Word spread about the mysterious new bad girl in town with the fancy shoes. With a nod from Varla Vendetta, Megan Formor-Belles approached Loco and asked if she thought she had the style, the savvy, the looks, and the complete lack of conscience that it takes to run with the Hell's Belles.

"Oh. I guess you haven't gotten this month's French Vogue yet," Loco replied flatly. "It's the 'Bad Girls' issue. Sociopathic is the New Black. And I look damn good in red."

Fashion people are notoriously crazy, their children even more so.

So it's a shock to no one that Josephine (Josie) von Stilvollehosenburg, daughter of the New York socialite-designer Lulu de la Bourgeois-von Stilvollehosenburg and her socialite-financier husband Karl, grew up to be a little off and have a fleeting, if any, grasp of reality. Lulu thought it was positively charming to nurse Josie with a champagne-filled baby bottle. It was adorable the way she used mommy's jewelry to dress up her dolls or as game pieces in Candyland. Lulu positively glowed when she told people that her daughter's first word was "Chanel" (probably closer to "sha-neh"), which if you knew Lulu, was quite believable.

As she got older, the entitlement ran deeper as she became more entrenched in her mother's life of frivolity and fashion. It was always more more more, and Lulu kept indulging every one of her little girl's whims. Unfortunately, by the time Lulu and Karl realized that they, in fact, had created a monster, the damage was done.

After getting a positively obscene American Express bill, Karl had enough and cut off Josie. She was studying in Paris at the time. It was the flagship Chanel store where Josie was, for the first time ever, denied. The cards didn't work. Pity the poor salesgirl who had to tell her no.

"What do you mean my cards aren't working? I need those adorable rollerskates from the resort collection... What you mean I've lost my spot on the waiting list??? I KNOW ONLY 25 PAIRS WERE MADE. And I know that this is the only pair in my size in Europe! I need them. No, you don't understand, I want them and I need them and I'm going to have them."

Her eyes flickered with the insanity of a women possessed. She was going to get what she wanted. She always did.

The next day's Le Monde ran the headline: "Mlle LOCO CHANEL: La fille et le massacre de haute couture" and told the story of the bloodbath at 31 Rue Cambon. 19 bodies were found throughout the store and shoe department was wiped out. The police had no leads, save a tall schoolgirl with blonde hair seen flying down Rue St. Honore in those adorable limited edition Chanel rollerskates. The lone survivor had such horrific trauma and injuries that all she did was repeat the phrase, "la fille et le massacre... le massacre et les patins… " No one was arrested.

Josie clipped the article and pasted it into her scrapbook. She rather fancied this nom de guerre.

When she returned back to the States at the end of the semester, Lulu and Karl knew something was amiss. They sent Josie (who, much to their dismay, was now calling herself 'Loco Chanel') off to school in Chicago, hoping that solid Midwestern values might help. At the very least it couldn't hurt to get away from New York. Unfortunately they picked the wrong school.

Word spread about the mysterious new bad girl in town with the fancy shoes. With a nod from Varla Vendetta, Megan Formor-Belles approached Loco and asked if she thought she had the style, the savvy, the looks, and the complete lack of conscience that it takes to run with the Hell's Belles.

"Oh. I guess you haven't gotten this month's French Vogue yet," Loco replied flatly. "It's the 'Bad Girls' issue. Sociopathic is the New Black. And I look damn good in red."

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Hell's Belles 2010

Number: 31
2010 Stats Overview
Bout J P B T Min Maj Box Off Def KD
Bout 1 0 0 17 17 15 5 8 2 6 1
Bout 2 0 0 27 27 16 2 6 1 5 0
Bout 3 0 1 24 25 11 3 5 4 7 1
Bout 4 0 0 18 18 5 6 7 1 8 1
Bout 5 0 0 23 23 10 0 2 6 13 0
Bout 6 0 0 11 11 8 3 5 0 7 1
SEASON 0 1 120 121 65 19 33 14 46 4
Offense
Bout OB OK OW OP OD Off Off%
Bout 1 2 0 0 0 0 2 10.0%
Bout 2 1 0 0 0 0 1 7.1%
Bout 3 3 0 0 1 0 4 23.5%
Bout 4 1 0 0 0 0 1 5.3%
Bout 5 6 0 0 0 0 6 18.2%
Bout 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.0%
SEASON 13 0 0 1 0 14 10.7%
Defense
Bout DQ DF DH DK DA Def Def%
Bout 1 2 2 1 1 0 6 12.0%
Bout 2 0 1 4 0 0 5 11.6%
Bout 3 3 3 0 1 0 7 16.3%
Bout 4 3 3 1 1 0 8 16.0%
Bout 5 10 2 1 0 0 13 14.8%
Bout 6 0 4 2 1 0 7 12.5%
SEASON 18 15 9 4 0 46 13.9%

Hell's Belles 2009

Number: 31

Second Wind 2009

Number: 31

Hell's Belles 2008

Number: 31
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