Ada Hatelace was born in the early 1800s. Her good twin Ada Lovelace, growing up under her mother's paranoid eye and tutored in the mathematical arts, was protected from her evil sister, who was often run out into the streets when her deranged ways became too apparent. Eventually, fed up with life as an evil twin, she left home for good, rented a small laboratory, and began working on her most ambitious project yet. "Damn the Analytical Engine," she muttered, always disdainful of her sister's work with acclaimed mathematician Charles Babbage. "I'm going to build a time machine."

She slept during the day, and spent her nights wandering the streets, eating dead rats to survive, ranting about bizarre mathematical formulas and scribbling them on any surface handy. Several of her most important discoveries were pissed on and thus erased by local street urchins, delaying her progress. Several non-functional time machine prototypes later, Ada became desperate. With an insane glint in her eye, she approached a nearby butcher's shop, where a small baby was mixed in among the day's shipment of livestock, approaching the butcher's knife. Rather than rescuing the baby, Ada, slightly intoxicated from the enticing smell of blood in the air and the fact that her studies had distracted her from eating for days, sank her teeth into the baby's pudgy thigh. Several moments later, the baby was entirely devoured. Many historians credit this terrible moment as the turning point for Ada.

A burst of clarity rushed through her as the babylicious nutrients coursed through her veins. She hurried to her lab, and soon after, she had a working time machine. Trying to decide what year to travel to, Ada accidentally knocked a hammer out of one of the time machine's crevice. As it bounced to the ground, it set the dial for 2007, and the time machine vanished from the laboratory. Or so they say. Her former neighbors in London now deny her existence entirely, attributing the baby-eating incident merely to the hyper-active imaginations of the local children.

Meanwhile, in the time machine, Ada's precise calculations of the Earth's rotation and tilt were rendered useless when she gnawed one of the lenses off an important dial and changed an important setting. Historians are still unsure why she did this, theorizing that perhaps the strange feeling of time travel had led her to believe it was a baby's limb. She landed in Chicago in 2007. Throwing open the machine's door, she found the entire machine encased in an odd, metallic object. It was like being on the inside of a giant bean. There seemed to be no way out of the smooth shell. Ada pounded desperately on the walls, unaware of the commotion she was creating in the tourists below. Finally, the sculptor was summoned to open his creation. When Ada was discovered, officials were quickly dispatched to take her off to the Elgin Mental Health Center for the Criminially Insane.

The sculptor melted down the time machine for use in future artistic installments, and with all the formulas 200 years in the mythical past, Ada was stuck in the future. No one at Elgin believed her rantings and ravings about time machines, pissing London urchins, and tasty babies. Until one night when the Manic Attackers, desperate for new members, broke into the hospital, rescuing anyone they thought might make a good teammate. As they entered Ada's room, they found her scribbling formulas on the walls and muttering, "Babies, delicious babies..." They quickly liberated her and gave her a pair of roller skates. The rest is history in the making.