
Ellen Degenerate
Ellen hails from the strict but quaint Amish farmland in the heart of Lancaster, PA. As a child she excelled at three things: sewing buttons, roller skating (on steel-wheeled roller skates) and churning the smoothest, fluffiest butter the Amish had ever tasted. The butter was so delicious that it was famous amongst the Amish across the entire country. Although Ellen enjoyed her buttery fame, there was a secret she wasn't telling anyone: not only was she using a mixer to "churn" this butter, but the mixer was also ELECTRIC! (She had acquired this years ago, in a trade with the motor cycle gang "Hell's Angels" and powered it using an elaborate system of extension cords from a neighboring, non-Amish farm) Over time Ellen had become cocky and clumsy with her skills, and began "churning" closer and closer to home. On a particularly cold autumn evening Ellen decided to seek shelter and create this wonderful dairy product in the family's basement. Forgetting how loud a mixer is, as soon as she turned it on, Ellen's parents and 14 brothers and sisters were all startled awake at once with a shared fear: EARTHQUAKE!! After some time of extreme panic, grasping for blankets and candles, the family settled down and realized that the Earth was not quaking, but this loud, unpleasant sound was coming from beneath them. The father, in a brave act, crept down the stairs only to discover his very favorite daughter, the apple of his eye, using the devilish, powerful, electric power! Needless to say, this act was received well by her father, who instantly screamed "Degenerate, out of my home! You are not a true Amish woman! You must leave immediately!" Assuming a "Degenerate" was a standard English last name, Ellen adopted it and sadly packed her bags and left her community on her loud, rattling roller skates. After skating miles on back country roads and highways, Ellen decided to stop at a roadside bar for a drink and rest, bonnet and all. Out of nowhere two girls wearing fancy dresses and skates, later to be known Dayglo Dago and Anita Beer rolled past Ellen on the floor screaming "PASTA!!" then "NO, BEER!" An onlooker assumed Ellen was with them and yelled "hey, Bonnet, break'em up or I'll break you up!" Ellen did break up the fight, but all three girls were chased out by the bar owner, easily getting fleeing the scene with their skates. Noticing her speed and willingness to throw down, Athena and Anita asked Ellen Degenerate to join the ex-debutante girl gang of the Hell's Belles, and she has been skating with them ever since.

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