Born in Communist-era Poland, Sonya grew up working alongside her family in a sweatshop sewing sacks to store vodka potatoes. When she wasn't stitching burlap twelve hours a day, this youngest of six demonstrated precocious ice skating skills, a pastime she had learned during the grim winter months. One day, while skating alongside her beloved Vistula River in Warsaw, famed USSR figure-skating Coach Vladimir Slutskaya stumbled by whilst double-fisting herbal vodka and Budvar.

Slutskaya had been charged with finding and training the youngest gold medal winner in figure skating history for the 1988 Olympics. His travels across the Soviet block yielded no such treasure. He claimed defeat after three months and spent most of his days in a vodka haze playing Russian roulette by himself in front of small children on street corners. About to take another chug of the "Vodka of the Mountains" he saw little blonde Sonya pull off a playful double-lutz, walley jump, one-foot axle combo. He threw the bottles of alcohol onto a parked car, smashing the windshield, and ran to the side of the River Vistula. Sonya was a vision of Motherland glory; in her, Slutskaya saw the grace and precision of a future Olympic gold winner.

That evening Coach Slutskaya, three skating secret service men, and sixteen German shepherds showed up on Sonya's doorstep. They offered increased lard rations and a decreased workday in exchange for Sonya becoming the pride and joy of the USSR. The family, although hesitant to hand Sonya over to strangers with sixteen dogs, knew they could not refuse the offer. Sonya never saw her family again.

For three years, Sonya grew up under the abusive training regime of Coach Slutskaya. She slept on cement slabs, trained in ice rinks kept at temperatures below freezing, and was only allowed to eat meat (raw) on days they won scrimmages. Despite immense challenges, Sonya showed improvement and eventually kicked the @$#X* of future greats like Katarina Witt and Oksana Baiul in pre-Olympic competitions.

Although well on her way to becoming an Olympic champion, Sonya became increasingly resentful of Coach Slutskaya, she knew it was time to leave. The night before the Olympic trials, she snuck into her coach's room with a rag of ether and a needle and thread. Once deep in an ether slumber, she used the skills from her sweatshop past and sewed Slutskaya's mouth shut, so that he would never again utter another abusive word at a young skater for failing to land her triple-lutz, salchow, double back flip, iron lotus combos.

Sonya eventually found herself homeless in Berlin where she joined up with other young East European runaways. She made money on the underground speed skating scene; her success led to her eventual boss status of a Polish youth mafia. The mafia confirmed its top ranking in Berlin when her gang defeated the rival Ukrainian gang during a West Side Story figure skating fight that culminated with Sonya stitching "Ich bin Sonya's bitch" across the Ukrainian leader's face. From that point on, anyone who crossed her could be found dead or alive with "XXX" stitched across their mouths.

A few months later, Sonya was tired of stitching bitches. After receiving word that her family had moved to Chicago, she skated across the frozen Atlantic to ultimately end up in the city that is home to the world's 2nd largest Polish population. She never found her family. She tried for a while to make good by doing clothing alterations at a dry cleaning shop, but the streets of Chicago beckoned her.

One afternoon, while walking in front of a Catholic school for girls, a blast of smoke came from a second story window. Soon after, a group of rough and tumble gangsta girls came spilling out on roller skates. Sonya wanted to be a part of this group of lady hellions on roll on roller skates so she approached Crimson Crusher & Anne Putation. After a punch to her face and a showcase of her skills in b