The T.V. was blaring static, bouncing madness off the walls of the rec room like Pong. Faces blended together into a sea of numb, chins covered in spit and swollen mouths perpetually hanged from jaws like slime. The uniformed beasts disguised as hospital orderlies hovered the floor like zombies holding trays with waxy Dixie cups and piles of tranquilizers. Welcome to the third floor of the Elgin Mental Health Center for the criminally insane where the toughest, psychopathic and most lethal derby team, Manic Attackers were born.

Etching plans into their thighs with hangnails, developing a code language of varied shrieks and screams to communicate, they plotted to take over the asylum. While some tucked their double doses of chlorpromazine, haldol and tegretol between their cheeks and gums to remain alert others triple and double dosed their way to sanity. As the nurses began bed check one night, the team attacked each orderly one by one with a fierce sleeper hold and a handful of pills and shoved them down their throats. Once comatose, the team stripped them of their uniforms and filed out of the hospital disguised as orderlies, back into the world and onto the track.

The Manic Attackers are your worst nightmare. They'll break your legs, eat your babies and steal your meds.

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